You know what, Xbox? Fuck you, pal. I haven’t been plugged in to the Collective since I rearranged this place.
Back in MY DAY when you rented a game for your console, you damn well knew you could just pop that fucker in and fucking PLAY. All you needed was a fucking TV, a console, and an outlet.
You didn’t have to make sure you had a hard drive to run the game, you didn’t have to be plugged into the goddamned Matrix and download endless updates to shoot some damn zombies.
Maybe I don’t want to play online co-op. I’m 35 years old and real life sucks most of my free time away. I don’t want to spend my precious game time waiting on downloads, reading updated user agreements, or being canon fodder for some 12 year old asshole in another state.
I miss the days when the most you had to worry about was having an extra controller for Player 2.
*storms off muttering like a crazy person to dig out the extra Cat5 cable*